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Enlightenment Questions - Question From Henry
I´m 35 and ill. My kidneys both nearly don´t work. I take pills, go three times a week to hospital. However I´m scared that the operation (a kidney from my mum) won´t be successful. Infact the reason that I´m so scared is because I saw death while I was staying in hospital in January. Then I lost my girlfriend a week after getting out of hospital. That really hurt. Then I had endless money problems and family problems, relations refused to lend myself and my mother money and so it stressed us out so much that the operation now has to be in the Autumn. I did even think about killing myself! My uncle and cousin in England said that I should move back to London which made me mad with rage. My dad said the same and for 3 months I refused to talk to my dad who lives in Zürich, Switzerland. We are now on speaking terms. However I don´t wish to have any contact with any of my relations in England apart from my mum. My mums friends have helped me with money and things are better in this point and I did manage to solve the problems even though it was very hard. It´s strange but all these bad things have infact helped me to be more focused with what I want to do in my life. I´m a teacher in Vienna, Austria, I want to do a Celta course and set-up a business (of which I´ve always wanted to do) in Slovakia (because I can´t find a job) which is only 60km away from Vienna. But I´m scared to fail because so many bad things have happened to me. My mum and dad are not together and this scares me that I can never keep a girlfriend. I hate being single. I´m afraid of being alone forever without a wife, friend and a lover. I find it strange that my mother doesn´t mind not being with a man. I would like her to be with someone. To be with a woman that loves me has occupied my mind all my life even though now I´m ill. However I have learned to be calmer although sometimes I do lose my temper and shall be more picky about the next person I chose a relationship with. I speak to someone once a week about my problems and it has helped me and I do feel better but I still have this feeling inside of me that I must have someone. My question is why do I feel this when I should be thinking about getting better again ?
Answer from Tathagata
Dear Henry ,
You have your own emotion in your life and it makes you need a woman or her care in your consciousness. If you need money try to make a good relationship with people who have got money. I hope you will have a tie with them. Then you will able to solve all your problems. What do want from me exactly ? If you let me know I can give you correct answer.
Further response from Henry
Thanks for your e-mail. Sorry for maybe asking a stupid question but what do you exactly mean by the following statement own emotion in my life? I don´t quite understand what this means.
I want to be more relaxed, happy but I just feel I can´t because of not having the company of a woman that loves me............. I´ll try to take you advice with money.